is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
