Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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