I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You smell like stripper and shame
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
