Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
