oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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