this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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