We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
