No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
