the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Randomize
