I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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