Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
