Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
