His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
they need to just BURY HIM!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
