If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
whose parrot is this?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
