you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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