I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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