My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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