Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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