Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
