why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I supernannyed him into submission
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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