all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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