I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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