there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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