O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
