people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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