jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize