somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize