Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize