i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
