They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
false alarm. still invincible.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
