What a fucking waste of an outfit
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
