I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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