Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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