he wants to bone in the snuggie
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
