12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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