This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
