How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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