i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
