If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
