I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize