he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize