She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
