chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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