I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
