I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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