did you get engaged???
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
