He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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