Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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