i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
