He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
