my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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