I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
