I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
