she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
