I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
