Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
