Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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