If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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