You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
