I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
