I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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