Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
