im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize