I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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