Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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