Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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