think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I need moral support for this bender
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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